Held Barely at Bay

Q: Have you ever been somewhere haunted?

A: The correct answer is “yes,” because everywhere is haunted. You see, approximately 118 billion humans have ever lived, and only 8 billion of them are alive right now, give or take a few. This leaves 110 billion ghosts, and they’ve all got to go somewhere. Actually, they go everywhere.

(Everywhere except the old Schwarztier house, that is. Even ghosts won’t dare to tangle with the Thing that lurks there.)

Q: What is the Thing that lurks in the old Schwarztier house?

A: The correct answer is “alive.” Unlike the ghosts, it’s got flesh and bones and lots of blood. It’s a curious amount of bodily matter. Far too much for one old house. Almost enough for 110 billion people, if you counted.

(But that’s just an estimate. No one’s ever gotten close enough to count.)

Q: Why are ghosts so afraid of the Thing?

A: The correct answer is “it’s familiar,” because nothing’s more frightening than the things you used to know. All the humans that have ever lived are wandering around everywhere: spiritual, ethereal, confined to the wild and the wind, missing the tingle of the nerves in their skin.

But the scary part is: that skin still exists. Those tree-branch muscle systems and joints of bone, they’re still out there. They’re part of the Thing. Everyone’s body is part of the Thing.

(Soon, yours will be too. You don’t have a choice in the matter.)

All the windows of the old Schwarztier house are shuttered up, but blood still leaks from the old wooden boards. Rumor has it that the Thing is always moving inside, held barely at bay by the thrice-locked door.

If it was ever opened, the ghosts fear that all the pieces of those 110 billion people they used to be would go everywhere. Absolutely everywhere. Unavoidable.

So, they stay away. They’d rather not be haunted by themselves.